I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
