He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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