so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
