How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
