You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
