Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
