I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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