Im at strip club and am horny
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
