ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
