clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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