ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
