Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
