its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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