thus making me awesome and them whores
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
