i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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