Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
