Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
