i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
