You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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