I murdered the dance floor call the cops
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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