you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
