i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
