Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
