We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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