We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
