handjob tips. give me some.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
