I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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