I am in a vortex of obligation.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
