i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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