so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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