and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
