Your mouth is God's brothel.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
