don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
