that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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