I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
