It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
