dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
