Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
