She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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