i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
