I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
