im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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