Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
