My nipple is on Facebook.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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