Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
