I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
