took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
