i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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