nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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