i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
