life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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