no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Randomize
